October 25, 2012 - Thursday. May lakad kaming tatlo nina Tatay(Kuya Doy) at ni Blackiee(Lita). Nagyaya kasi sila na manood ng Insidious sa apartment ni Tatay. Actually, ang unang naging usapan ay 9am. Dahil galing pa sa Tiaong si Tatay at mabagal kumilos si Blackie, 11am na nakarating sa amin si Blackie. Sabay kasi kaming pupunta sa apartment ni Kuya Doy. Bagyong bagyo ay movie marathon ang peg. Noong naglalakad na kami papuntang apartment, wagas naman kung hawiin ng hangin ang payong ko. Tawa lang ng tawa si Lita kasi niloloko ko pa nga ang payong niya eh, tapos yung payong ko pa ang nililipad. Yabang ko talaga. Hahaha! Tapos noong nasa apartment na kami, nilipat ko lang sa USB yung movie at presto! Panonoodin na namin yung movie. Isasalpak na yung movie at biglang nawalan ng kuryente. Ang pagkakamalas nga naman. :|
At dahil nawalan na ng kuryente, hindi na matutuloy ang aming movie marathon! (Malamang?!) Alangan namang tumunganga na lang kami dun. Kinuha ni Kuya Doy ang mga librong pinabili namin sa Recto. Ang dami nung kay Lita! 4 na libro, 3 lang naman ang akin. Sauce! At dahil dun may dala si Lita na JEJE BAG! Hahaha! Utas na! Mukhang jejemon si Lita! Hahaha!
Kinukuha lang yung books ay kagulo na yung dalawa. Okay, OP me. Para libro ay pinagkakaguluhan. Hindi ko naman alam kubng bakit. Mga excited ata eh. Inabot na ni Kuya Doy yung mga libro ni Lita, tapos inabot na rin sa akin ang Oblicon ko. Wala pa sa akin yung fintwo at TOA2 ko. Inabot kay Lita ang Fintwo ko at nakay Kuya Doy naman ang TOA2 ko. AT HINDI PA NILA BINIBIGAY SA AKIN! Ang gulo nila. Tapos isa isa nilang binigay yung libro. Yaaaan! Kumalma din yung dalawa. Tapos nung nasa akin na both books, bigla nilang sinabing “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”. OP na naman ako. Hindi ko gets. Sorry na, slow eh! Bakit ba! Hahaha. Back to the story! Hindi ko pa rin gets! Anong HBD? Kasi nakapula si Kuya Doy? O dahil pula ang TOA2? Sabi ni Lita, “Ma-touch ka naman!”. *processing, processing*. GETS KO NA! Pero hindi ako na-touch, speechless lang, Di ko alam ang sasabihin ko. Hahaha! Pa-birthday nila sa akin nina Lita yung dalawang libro. Para iyon, hindi ko kaagad nagets. Sorry na! Hahaha! Okay, touched na ako. :”>
Back to reality! Wala pa ding kuryente! :(. Pinapauwi ko na si Lita! Sabi ni Kuya Doy manood daw kami ng sine. Payag naman kami at direcho sa SM. 11am turning 12pm na at hindi na kami abot sa simula ng movie. Hindi pa namin alam kung anong papanoorin. Secret Affair baga o Tiktik. Panoorin daw namin ang kapatid ni Lita (Tiktik), so pumunta kami sa kabilang dulo. Kaso noong nandun na kami, nagbago naman ang isip namin. Secret Affair na lang daw. So balik kami sa kabilang dulo. Aah! Ang gulo! Hahaha! Sayang ang oras eh. Bili ng ticket, bili ng pagkain at pasok na sa loob. Pagkapasok ay nakasigaw kaagad itong si Kuya Doy. At pagkapasok namin ay pwet agad ni Derek ang nakaflash. So tawanan na agad (Sorry na! Part talaga yun ng kwento eh). Nood nood! 1pm na at gusto nang umalis ni Lita pero hindi rin siya nakaalis kasi ayaw namin siyang paalisin. Wala kaming maaaway. At natapos ang movie at ayaw pa namin umuwi kahit si Lita ay kating kati na umuwi. Lol! Pero si nagyaya pa si kuya Doy ng isa pang movie, Apparition daw. Bale, horror (daw) yun! Konti lang ang nanonood at dahil malakas ang lob namin, dun kami sa baba nanood. Anim lang kami na nasa baba, 3 kami, 2 strangers there, at 1 stranger there. Hindi naman siya nakakatakot eh. Paiyak na yung katabi ko pag nagugulat, at tawa lang ako ng tawa. Naging comedy ang horror eh. Yun natapos ang movie nang hindi namin naintindihan ang nangyayari. Lol. At dahil paalis na kami ng sinehan, sumigaw ulit itong si Kuya Doy! Lakas ng loob! At nakalimutan ang payong sa pinanoodan namin ng Secret Affair! Hahaha!
Pagkatapos ng movie marathon, oras na para umuwi. Nagmamakaawa na itong si Lita. Dahil, nabagyo pa din, sa terminal na kami sumakay. Actually, ayaw pa naming pauwiin si Litz. Nagyaya pa kami ng timezone, kaso ayaw talagang papigil ni Lita. Hahaha! Kinuha namin ang bag nya para hindi pa rin siya makauwi. Hindi makasakay ng jeep kasi wala sa kany ang bag nya plus yung jeje bag na pinaglagyan ng libro. Siguro nagtagal kami dun ng mga 20 mins habang pinagtrtripan si Litz. Kawawa naman. Binigay na rin namin yung bag. Baka magalit. Hahahaha! Sorry na. :P
After nun, umuwi na kami. Baha na sa Lipa, buti di pa baha sa baha. Pagkauwi ko, binalikan ko yung libro. Noong time palang ako natouched sa regalo nilang dalawa. Hahaha! Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala.
— Ang haba ng kwento ko ano? Take note, bagyong bagyo noong mga panahon na iyan ha? Lakas ng trip makalabas ng bahay! Hahaha! Yun lang, sobrang saya lang. Nakalabas din ng bahay! Batong bato na ako sa kwarto ko eh. Tamang tama din naman kasi walang kuryente. Hahaha! Sana maulit pa. THE END! =))
So here we are again, in this place where the distance between us has suddenly widened due to a catalyst of which I’m not aware. Where pride is paramount and stubbornness has led to an awkward silence and neither party willing to make the first move.
I don’t get why it’s turned out like this, and I don’t see why this should’ve happened. In actual fact, I’m the one with more reason to walk away than you do; I’m the one with more excuses to say that it isn’t worth putting up with things anymore. Having stuck by as long as I have, and having endured as much as I did, I should be given a medal — an award for my continued patience to the treatment I’d received but no, this is your stuff. This is your own personal issues getting in the way and God forbid if I went and asked you, you’d actually tell me the truth.
I don’t know how I feel about this. At the moment I’m angry, but tomorrow I’ll probably feel a little sad. Actually, I don’t think I’m angry — that would imply that my feelings towards you are mainly negative. I think a better word would be is that I’m frustrated.
I’m frustrated by the fact that you’re so closed off. I’m frustrated by the fact that in your mind it was better to just cut the strings without talking to me first. I’m frustrated by the fact that even though I value what was our friendship more than I value most, that if I tried to get the full story I know the likelihood is is that you’d respond to me with an ever so polite “screw off”.
And what frustrates me most is that you’re just so frustrating in general. Incomprehensibly frustrating. Unexplainably.
Is the reason why we can’t be friends anymore because I have a greater sense of my self worth nowadays? Did you walk away because I’m not as available as I used to be and won’t drop everything I’m doing because my phone is going off? Because of the fact that if I get pissed off, I no longer feel the desire to stick around longer than I can stand and I’d rather go home and be on my own than just suck it up for the sake of feeling involved?
Every now and again, you’d say or imply that nobody cared about you, and that you don’t give a damn about anyone or even yourself. You lived and still live your life with reckless abandon and play things by ear — by the day-to-day rather than thinking about the long-term. You failed to notice the people around you who came back time after time and after incident after incident. Why would they still be there if they didn’t care? Why I have stayed if I didn’t care? Why would you have been one of the few people I asked about the moment I woke up from incubation in hospital having forgotten that before I went in, we weren’t even friends anymore?
You’re a pain, you know. I mean that honestly. You dislike people who aren’t up front but get pissed when someone builds up the gall to stand up for themselves and talk back to you. You immediately shut them down and that’s one of the biggest reasons why I personally am choosing to just accept this for what it is and not put up a fight. You are beyond reason. I can see you blowing up and calling me every name under the sun to avoid actually being honest and hashing things out like adults.
I’m tired. I’m tired of sticking up for you and justifying the things you do and have done. I’m tired of hearing about how behind my back you disrespect and make fun of me in spite of the things I’ve done for you. I’m tired of the things I’ve done without asking for anything back being disregarded and I’m tired of feeling used.
Most of all: I’m tired of feeling like I’ve been taken for granted.
I’m not going to say something as cliche as “I have a lot going on”. I do, but that isn’t the reason why I’ve given up. Until the day comes where you can function as an adult and respect the choices I’ve made as a good friend should do (unless there was something incredibly wrong that you felt the need to protect me from) I don’t see how this can be fixed. We’ve gone through the motions of love, hate, respect, resentment, and I can’t say that I’ll just forget about this and act like I never knew you.
I said you meant a lot to me. I’ve said that I see you as family. It just goes to show in the way you went about things that I was naive to think you could feel the same.
See you on the other side.